Musings From Above

737 might be numerically inferior to 757, but in terms of flight quality this isn’t even close. Check that picture, you know what that is? Leg room playa. That’s how I be rollin’.





As I write this I’m currently at 30,000 feet soaring over the vast open nothingness of this fine land. It’s amazing how much of the USA is nothing. Someone should plant some corn, or put a strip mall down there. Something.



I decide to check out the in-flight safety manual, and this thing is mind boggling. First of all you have to think about the fact that there’s a company that is strictly specializing in the production of in-flight safety manuals – that’s what they do, that’s it. Day and night is in-flight safety manuals. They wake up and go into their giant in-flight safety manual production facility and pump these things out by the hundreds. The company that made this one is actually called Aero Safety Graphics Inc., but you have to assume they have competitors in the marketplace. So there are in fact MULTIPLE companies that’s sole industry is the production of these cards. That in itself is slightly amazing – I mean how many planes are there? And no one reads these things unless they want to reenact the seen from Fight Club and mention how they’re “Calm as Hindu cows,” so you have to assume they last a while. But yet there is a family who’s going to Sizzler tonight with money gained from the production and distribution of these cards.


But even more startling to me is the fact that this is all someone does for a living. These cards. Yet the artist they chose to put this together is like an 8th grade art student. Just look at this slop. The cell phone has “Cell Phone” on the screen, the radio is circa 1982, and why the hell is that women strapping in that dwarf? It’s bizarre. If in-flight safety manuals is your livelihood you think you’d splurge for a better artist, or at least not make the dude demonstrating how to open the emergency exit look like a 70s porn star. He’s stashtastic.

When I get back to NYC I’m making it a point to talk to someone at this company and share some of these ideas with them. Maybe over some Sizzler?